So this has been one hell of a week. I couldn’t be happier to see the end of it. Let me go back Monday our cat was hit by the school bus (yes the school bus) that my daughter was fixing to get on….not good. Tuesday, me being the awesome driver that I am, I decided to crash my new minivan into the rock wall of our driveway because I dropped my box of tator tots that I was trying to eat (while driving). Wednesday, I drove into town( I live out in the boondocks) to pay some bills and realized that I had left my purse with my check card inside it at home. Thursday, I gave Daisy (my fur baby) a bath and groomed her and then she sees Smores (poor kitty) and decides to chase her into the fireplace…..she crawls out covered in soot….asshole dog! Then to top the week off I had to take drama queen to get some supplies for school yesterday. Of course going anywhere means a 45 minute attempt to get inside the van….mittens usually pukes on me or herself, then as soon as I get that taken care of she decides to fill her diaper which usually runs out of the diaper and up her back. So, by the time I got her buckled in and am pulling out of the driveway I notice something in my rearview mirror. It is the drama queen running down the driveway, waving her arms all crazy like, screaming “mom, you forgot me”! Yes, I did it. I forgot the drama queen. I have to tell you that wasn’t the first time either. We were at Wal-Mart (AKA hell) last week getting groceries. That in itself is an all day event which leaves me frazzled and mindless. At the register as I was unloading all of our crap the drama queen will not hush her begging for every piece of stinkin candy that those bastards just have to strategically place in your way of the exit. I get her candy and tell her to take a seat on a bench and wait for me (in my line of vision). I get everything paid for and loaded up and stroll right past my beloved daughter sitting on the bench. Only as I am walking out the door do I realize something is missing. I ask my 20 year old (who might I add dislikes her sister anyway) what am I forgetting. She smiles at me and says just Jaylee. I yelp, turn the buggy around, and hit two pedestrians while attempting to get back to the bench. Yep, there she sits still eating her beloved candy. She looks at me and says I can’t believe you forgot me Mom. I suck at mommyhood!
So what have I learned this week so far?
1. Make sure all pets are safely put inside the house when the child has to load the schoolbus
2. Do not eat tator tots and drive at the same time
3. Check that you have all personal belongings before you leave home to drive 30 miles to pay bills
4. Do not give dog a bath while kitty is in the house
5. Always make sure your child is with you when you are leaving (I’m beginning to think those leash things are a good idea)
Now it is Friday and I have decided for everyone’s sake I am just going to declare today Free to be ME day and I am going to keep my pj’s on and stay in bed watching those beloved court shows all day long. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.