Well, it has been months since I wrote a single thing. I just woke up one day and thought who gives a shit about what I write. Why am I wasting my time to write in a blog that no one reads. Well, honestly I didn’t start writing the blog for anyone else. I decided to write it for my benefit. I felt it was a way of therapy….an online diary. I had hopes it would open doors for me to reach others that had the same issues, goals, ideas, and hopes as mine. Well, it didn’t work too well and I just gave up. However, over the past several months I have faced a lot of trials that I believe writing about would have helped. So, I am gonna start this again. I am doing this for ME. I am a nobody and I can’t write about wonderful humorous things that will make you laugh and make you wanna read more. I am a somebody that has dealt with a lot of grief and emotions in her lifetime and would love to have some friends to share with. I am a mom who deals with a child who has bi-polar disorder. The days are long and hard and sometimes I want to run away. I am a parentless child who misses her mom and dad so much I could die sometimes. I am a wife who loves her husband but can’t seem to let go of the hurt from the past enough to free herself and enjoy this relationship. I am a loner who really doesn’t step outside of her shell to make new friends and cries sometimes because she has no one to talk to. I am a hot mess plain and simple. I really don’t know who I am at times and I long to find out. I want to see who the girl inside really is. So, I hope that in the days to come this opening of my soul will allow me to get a glimpse of her and of the life she longs for. So I will keep it short and sweet today but I do feel better already knowing that I am about to open up the flood gates and let it all out! I hope in the future to find some people who will take this journey with me. Maybe we can help each other.