I don’t remember vacation being so stressful when I was a child and looking back I hope my parents enjoyed it better than I have this past week. Going on vacation with a ten year old drama queen and a one year old cry baby should be on everyone’s list of what NOT to do! At least the other three kids didn’t go…THANK BUDDHA! It seems that I can’t leave the house without forgetting something and this time it was mitten’s stroller and my cell phone charger. Well ya can’t stroll the streets of Gatlinburg carrying a 31lb baby on your hip for very long so we had to buy a new one….money wasted but much needed. It seems mittens exploded (pooped) at every outing we went on and I do mean exploded….down her legs and onto my clothes. Why is that? Why do babies always poop the minute you exit the door? To top that off she was so cranky due to her two year molars coming in. However, I noticed she was much worse than usual and on night two she ran a very high fever. I noticed her grabbing her ears so…..off to the emergency room for a visit to the doctor. Yep….double ear infection on vacation. We were told no more water in the ears so there goes the swimming which was the ONLY time mittens was happy. Drama queen was just that….completely full of drama. She complained about everything…”it’s too hot”, “I don’t want to do that”, “I’m bored”, “I’m hungry”, “I’m NOT eating that”, “I wanna go home now”, “Can I have this”, “Buy me that”…..on and on….get my point? She was not happy with anything except the pool. She wanted to stay in the pool the whole time and thanks to mitten’s ear infection that made it hard. All of this not to mention the day the lazy river behind the motel attempted first degree murder on the hubs. Just let me tell you how completely insane we are. Drama queen begged and begged to go tubing down the river behind the motel. The hotel provided free tubes and it seemed like a good idea. Quiet and peaceful….just my thing. So, we grab our tubes and head on down to the river. Well first thing you must know…you cannot walk on the slimy slick rocks on the bottom of the river with flip flops! That is why they make these lovely things called water shoes. Second thing……you really can’t walk on these rocks with flip flops while carrying a 30lb baby and trying to hold the hand of your ten year old. So, you lose your flip flops, you lose your tube, your ten year old is screaming that she is falling, and the baby is laughing hysterically because she has no idea she is about to be dropped and possibly drown. The hubs is chasing after flip flops and tubes and I can see his blood boiling. However, we manage to gather everything up and attempt to crawl into the tubes while we have an audience standing on the balconies of the hotel. Hubs on tube…check, ten year old on tube….check, mama and mittens on tube…..NOPE! Not happening…..flip flops slipping on rocks again. No balance and I am freaking out. Hubs is trying to hang on to drama queen who is being swept away by the current while at the same time he is trying to hold me and mittens up. Well, that doesn’t work and next thing I know current sweeps hubs off of tube and flips him backwards into the river. I didn’t know hubs was a gymnast but he sure looked it doing those back flips! All I could do is stand there and laugh..yes I laughed at his misery. Little did I know that hub’s head hit a huge rock on the bottom of the river while he was doing his lovely flips. He manages to get his balance and stand up….he stands there kinda swaying back and forth until he realizes drama queen is floating down the river alone. So, to make a long story short he ends up being the hero saving drama queen and then coming back and saving me and mittens. He does suffer a slight concussion in the process and has a knot the size of a goose egg on the back of his head….and yes I laughed. I still laugh when I picture this in my head because what idiots in their right mind would take an infant out into a “lazy” river to enjoy a nice day of tubing…without water shoes? Can I top that off? Well, no, not really but I will tell you I paid for laughing at the hubs. We went to a Golden Corral to eat because we had a coupon for it and who doesn’t want to save some money? Well, we ate even though the food kinda sucked. Afterwards, drama queen gets a belly ache and I have to take her to the bathroom. Mittens has of course exploded again and for some reason there isn’t a changing table. There is a woman in the back stall and she is obviously taking a dump (noises and smell). I figure the changing table is in there as it is the large stall. So while waiting I decide I have to pee myself. I go into the first stall and do my business with mittens in my lap might I add! While I’m finishing up and getting ready to exit the stall I see through the crack of the door the woman who had been in the back stall. She walks over to the mirror and quickly glances at herself and then exits the bathroom…without washing her hands! One….she is an EMPLOYEE and two…..she just crapped. I felt my head get hot from my blood boiling over. There is a sign right there on the door that says EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS. So what do I do? Well, I proceed to go and find her. She is outside washing off tables with her crap covered, bacteria ridden hands. I walk up and get her name off of her name tag and then I go and ask for a manager. Yep….I told on her like a kid telling on another kid for stealing his candy. I was so angry. I told the manager I didn’t appreciate eating in a facility where the employees crap and don’t wash their hands. I ask him if he has ever heard of Hepatitis A and how it is contracted? Hubs is so embarrassed he has taken mittens and fled like a bank robber to the getaway car. Oh well, I made my point. As we know the mind is a powerful thing and sometimes we can let it take control. I felt sick all of a sudden. My stomach ached and rumbled. In my head I was sure I had contracted Hep A….just kidding…I have been vaccinated. I was sick though and I know in my mind it was the thought of the non handwashing girl wiping those tables with her dirty hands. Anyway, my punishment for laughing at hubs and his concussion was me lying on the bed wincing in pain from the stomach cramps I was experiencing. This lasted all night…… Needless to say I will never eat at a Golden Corral again even though I am sure most of them have employees who wash their hands. The one in Pigeon Forge has a girl named Beth who does not!!! Okay, so even though we had some rough spots I did have a good time on vacation. I loved seeing the happiness in mitten’s eyes when she saw all the fish at the aquarium. I loved the laughter that came from drama queen as she jumped in the pool. Although my young uns drive me crazy sometimes I love them to the moon and back and I enjoy viewing the world through their eyes. One thing in life we must understand is that every moment isn’t going to be the best….we do have not so good moments. We just have to learn to take the bad with the good….the crazy with the calm. This is what makes memories. I was lucky enough to be able to take a vacation this year which never happens….so I really ain’t complaining!