Yes, mommyhood can be complete madness! It can take us and shake us to our innermost core. Mommyhood can definitely make your question yourself at times. However, even in the midst of all the chaos, poop, spit up, drama, boo boo’s, and temper tantrums there is that heart gripping love that we have for our babies. Yes, they will always be our babies…even when they are 30 years old. I am just on a big mushy kick this morning as I sit here and watch my Mittens playing in her toybox. She is exploring and finding new things about life. I have been blessed to be able to stay at home with her…something I never got to do with my other babies. Believe me it is so amazing to notice every little thing she does. I have seen her first smile, her first attempts at crawling and walking, heard her first word, watched her take her first bite of real food, saw her first interactions with others and with objects….every single thing I have been lucky enough to see. Right now she is sitting surrounded by a huge mess of toys and she is learning how to put shapes inside of a shape box. She is completely intrigued by something so small. I am taken back over the years with all of my kiddos. I remember all the cries, the midnight feedings, changing poop that is up their back as well as up my arms, the nights of high fevers and trips to the emergency room. I remember having to kiss away boo boos and holding them as they cried over their first “broken heart”. I remember the feeling of the hugs from tiny little arms and the feeling of them laying their head on my chest. I remember the feeling of having them nestled in my arms and the sweet smell of a newborn baby. I remember little league baseball, football, and soccer (where Sarah rolled around the ground as if she was the ball). I remember the first day of kindergarten, middle school, and then high school. I can remember tears streaming down my face as I watched two of them walk down the aisle to graduate. I just couldn’t believe they were already grown. You know…you can’t go back. You will never get these moments again. These moments they become memories. We don’t realize how quickly life passes by. We are children one day enjoying sleeping late and summer breaks and then we wake up one day with mortgages and kids of our own. I now look back and realize how hard my parents really had it. I understand now why they sat with checkbooks trying to figure out where the electric bill money would come from that month. I understand the fact that although they wanted the best for me that I always couldn’t have it. I look into the eyes of my children and I see myself as a child. I see the dreams they have and the desires. I see the child who wants to grow up to be a vet, artist, fashion designer, and photographer all in one! She doesn’t understand just yet how life really is. I miss those little handprints on the freshly cleaned glass and the sweet sound of them playing in the background or in their rooms. Yes, I still have small ones and believe me as much as I like to complain and pretend it drives me nuts deep inside I am loving every second of the circus that is my life. I have just quit cleaning the back door and I embrace Mitten’s little handprints because I know I am going to wake up very soon and she will be doing her own thing instead of standing in amazement of the world outside that big glass door. I am taking in all the snuggling she gives me because I know pretty soon those snuggles will be gone as she is playing with her friends and don’t have time for mommy. Life is but a flash. Today I implore you to enjoy every single minute with your babies. Don’t get grumpy because they mess the kitchen right after you clean it or drag out the toys after you put them away. Don’t be upset when you have to drive from the football field to the soccer field because in a few years there will not be a football or soccer game to watch (unless it is on t.v.). Take time to sit down and color with them or play dolls with them….to you it may be boring and senseless but to them it means the world. You can buy your children all the toys in the world and yes they will love you for it but you can’t buy the happiness or the smile on their face when you give them your time. I see the happiness in Mittens eyes when I she does something and I say “good girl Mitty”. I see her eyes light up when I clap my hands for her for doing something new. Amazement….pure love. I love my kiddos with every ounce of my body and soul. I carried them for nine long months, felt each kick and hiccup, and brought them into this world after hours of pain. However that pain was immediately forgotten when the doctor placed those angels in my arms. All I am saying is hold them, cherish them, LOVE them!!!!
The Hubs and our girls drama queen, Mittens, and Kenna Lou Hoo