Have you ever just thought “What the fuck am I here for? Who am I and what do I stand for”? I will turn 41 in a month and honestly I still have clue what I want to do when I grow up or who I really want to be. Sad I know. I guess it’s not that I don’t know but it’s the things I let hold me back from truly being ME. I have went through life trying my hardest to please everyone around me and so many times forgot what it was that I wanted.
Granted, sometimes I let other people get hurt by my actions because I wanted something and it was at their cost. I do regret that but I also regret compromising my own happiness so many damn times. It has taken me all of these years to come to the conclusion that I am never going to be everyone’s cup of tea. I can’t please everyone and truly, when it comes right down to it, I am the one who has to live with my choices at the end of the day. So, why the fuck do I care what my uncle thinks, what the lady at the grocery store thinks, or even at times what my husband thinks? It’s my life, plain and simple. I know life is all about give and take but you will learn, as I have, that you can’t depend on anyone but yourself to be there 100% of the time.
I have my own ideas of how life should be but I don’t expect you to have the same ideas. I do expect you to respect my ideas and not make assumptions about who I am based on those ideas. I think women tend to “hide” who they truly are more than men do. We worry what about friends and family will think about us. We worry about whether or not our beliefs and ideas follow what society thinks. I know I worry that maybe someone won’t like me because I am pro this or anti that. Well, I think after 40 years I deserve to have my own preferences in life and without the constant bashing from others for having those preferences.
I think the world would be a much nicer place if everyone just kept their noses on their on faces and out of everyone else business. It really does not affect my life if Joe wants to marry Jim or if Betty Sue was raped and decided to abort the child conceived during that attack. I get so sick of seeing the news and how this restaurant won’t serve gays. I get sick of seeing shit stunts like Hobby Lobby is pulling. What the actual fuck man? It’s my body and if I want to take a morning after pill then I’m going to pop that son of a bitch whether it fits your morals or not. I really don’t think you are going to go to hell over what you consider my sins, right?
We live in 2014 not 1950. Times have changed and they are going to continue to change. Why can’t we strive to worry about things that really matter like child abuse or hunger? How about we take a stand against domestic violence or really start spending all those charitable donations on finding cures for illnesses that are taking our children and loved ones away from us way too soon? Yea, quit worrying about Peter banging Paula on his lunch break….it’s none of your fucking business.
As a mom I want to raise my children to be kind, respectful, and loving. I also want to raise them to love who they are and not compromise those beliefs for anyone. They will know it is okay to be unique even if it means nobody understands. I have to teach them that not everyone will like them or approve of their actions but as long as those actions make them happy and they do not hurt others then it doesn’t matter.
I guess all I’m saying is learn to love yourself. Don’t waste your life hiding who you are from others just because you are afraid they won’t like you. Stand up for your beliefs regardless if they fit society’s standards. You will learn that a true friend (or family) will not expect you to change who you are to fit who they are. If they do then you don’t need them anyway. That’s what is so great about a solid friendship….it’s about truly caring for another person and respecting who they are. It’s being able to like and dislike different things and not worrying about losing the bond. We all come from different backgrounds, customs, and cultures but that doesn’t mean we can’t learn from each other, be respectful of each other, and find some common ground.
All I can say is “DO YOU”.