Little Girl Lost…But Never Forgotten

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Just a few weeks ago a dear friend of mine reached out to a few of us ladies with concerns of her cousin.  Just a young girl of only 18, she had come into contact with some very shady characters and they had introduced her to a lifestyle that was not appropriate for anyone…let alone a child.  Now, we have all been there so do not sit in judgement as you read this because if you do then you are no better than those who impacted so negatively this young girl’s life.  Cassidy, just 18 wanted to be a teen and of course that entailed doing things that our parents do not often approve of.  At 18, I was a mess.  As I look back, I honestly do not know how I am alive.  I dabbled in the teen drinking, I drove after drinking, I had sexual experiences that I knew I shouldn’t, I stole a few things, I lied….the list goes on.  If none of this happened to you then I applaud you for your perfection.  However, most of us are not perfect.  With that being said once you reach your late 20’s, your 30’s and beyond you should have a grasp on what life is about.  The partying days should be out of your system and you should be aware of the role model you are for the younger generations.  If a child reaches out to you, you should extend a caring, guiding hand.  In Cassidy’s case a grown woman who had her own problems with a very bad lifestyle decided it would be a little more fun to become this 18 year old girls bestie….her party buddy….her roommate.  Who does that?  Instead of understanding that the child needed guidance and was only looking to fit in somewhere, she pulled her into a nightmare.  Children and young people are so very impressionable.  They look at others and they long to be like them.  They want to lead a fun filled life but sometimes the risk that comes along with this are just way too serious.  Cassidy was not a drug addict.  She was a young girl who had just graduated high school and was looking for her place in this big world.  She wanted friends and she wanted to be loved.  Just like a teenager, she did not feel that her parents knew what was best for her.  Looking back, I can remember telling my parents they were ruining my life.  I remember telling them that I hated them and I just wanted them to leave me alone and let me experience life.  You understand, right?  You were there once, don’t lie.  Cassidy had a good life, a good home, and a family that loved her but that was blinded by the lights of a bigger world.  I will not go into details now as there is an investigation going on and I would never say anything to foil an investigation.  What I will say are facts.  When you are an adult you do not lead a child into danger.  When you are an adult you tell a child what is right and what is wrong and you do NOT ever entice them to do things that could possibly harm them.  You act like a protector rather than an attention seeking, misguided person who is trying to relive their younger years through the life of an innocent child.  When they say they do not want to participate in anything you have to offer and they show fear, you take them home. You take them to safety.  You never harm a child nor do you allow anyone else to do so even if that means putting yourself at risk.  I want to say this, as Cassidy’s family is grieving the loss of their daughter, their niece, their sibling, their cousin, their friend…there are those out there who are pointing the finger of blame at the victim and at the family.  Who does that?  Let me tell you who does that.  People who have no soul, no conscience, and no moral code at all do that.  People who are addicted to drugs themselves or one who might be trying to cover up what they know about the story (crime), they act in this manner.  People who care, people who understand, people who know that very bad things happen; they do not act in such a manner.  People who understand that parents can teach and they can love but they cannot prevent tragedy; they do not act in such a manner.  In a time like this, I think we need to remember Cassidy as a girl who had a big heart, a girl who just wanted to be a part of something, and a girl who was misguided and taken advantage of by adults who knew better.  She was a girl who trusted people when she shouldn’t have.  This 18 year old girl died of a heroin overdose, which at this point is still questionable.  911 was NOT called and those with her drove her past a medical facility and on to another hospital (where no one would know or see them) and dropped her out of the car like a useless piece of trash.  This young girl may have had a shot to live but due to the negligence and cruelty of drug addicts who did not want to “get caught” she died.  Only days ago on Cassidy’s facebook there was a post which had pictures of little girls dressed up playing.  Her status….”for when I have a little girl of my own”.

Guess what?  That will never happen.

Parents love your children, guide them, teach them, and let them know you will always be there.  Monitor who they are around and put your foot down when you have to.  You have 17 years with them and then at 18 they can make their own decisions and choices.  What you do is very important but understand the choices they do make in life are not your fault.  We do what we can and shelter them with all we have but sometimes it just isn’t enough.  There are wolves in sheep’s clothing out there who will lie and make life look so much better than what they have.  They are impressionable and sometimes they will take the bait.  We just have to hope and pray that when we can no longer make their decisions for them, that they make the right ones.  Tonight before you lay down go look at your children sleeping in their beds.  Look at the innocence on their faces.  Hug them tight and whisper into their ears how much you love them.  As you look at them, let that image burn into your mind because some day very soon it will be a memory.  They are only little for so long and the innocence begins to fade away.  Be thankful for what you have because tonight Cassidy’s parents do not have that privilege.  May they find some peace in the days, months, and years ahead.  No parent should ever have to say good bye to a child.   May those who were there that night grow a conscience and decide to do what is right.  May those who are pointing fingers go take a look in the mirror.  ❤

10 thoughts on “Little Girl Lost…But Never Forgotten

  1. Very well said. This a tragic situation and is becoming frighteningly more common. My heart goes out to the family and friends of Cassidy, all who have dealt with this in the past and all who will deal with this in the future.

  2. very well written Starr…I pray others read this and listen to its message. My heart goes out to Cassidy’s family and friends and I pray that justice for Cassidy is soon served.

  3. I have an 18-year-old daughter. A daughter who actually graduated with this young girl. Yesterday my daughter bought and received her own car and although she works and pays her own insurance, gas, maintenance, I put rules on her. She still lives with me, I am still her mother, and I still pay about 80% of her bills. The people around her have whispered in her ear that as an adult who pays for the car I have no say so in where she goes or how long she is gone for. Just last night I poured my heart out to her and her younger sister (aged 16) about the glorious yet terrifying responsibilities I have as their parent. My daughters forget that I know the ways of the teenage mind and glorious lights you speak of. I was a mother at 17, I was married at 18, and although I have raised very intelligent and respectful daughters and am still married to their father and the love of my life, they forget I am the exception and not the rule. I am the mother I am because of the adolescent/teenager that I was. Another added tid bit of information, I am the same age as the woman who led that young impressionable mind down a road of destruction. That is correct. My children are not my biological children but they are my legally adopted children and they were born to my husband’s first wife who in her mid twenties while my daughters were 3 and 5 years old decided motherhood was no longer her first priority. I see my daughters and I can never imagine how a woman my age could be anything other than a voice of reason to a young woman of my eldest daughter’s age. I am going to forward this to her (I found it actually through my youngest daughter) and I will take the time to actually read it to her myself because she is sometimes blinded by those lights and the voices of peers (even some in their twenties) who try to drown out all that her father and I have tried to teach her. She has suggested that I see too much evil in the world, which I will admit I do when it comes to my children, but I never want her to be caught in the clutches of a woman like Cassidy was nor even a teenager like I was prior to being a mom. Those girls are my life, my legacy left on the world, and I never want to be put in the spot of that poor girl’s loved ones.

    • Oh MaryLeigh, all we can do is our best. We are given children to be their caregivers and their guides on earth. We teach them right from wrong and all we can do when we send them out in the world is hope that what we taught them is good enough. Sometimes it will be and unfortunately sometimes it will not be. You sound like an amazing woman who is doing all she needs to in order to send some pretty responsible young ladies out into society. Don’t count yourself out. Yes, there are some very terrible and evil people out there who, for some reason, get their kicks on infecting others with ill will. I hope and pray that each and every one of these individuals meets a fate that will somehow change their life’s path. Those who harmed this girl are nothing but cowards out there hiding and hoping that they are not caught. In my eyes and in my world, you do not do what they did and just get away with it. God, the Universe, Nature, whatever it is that you believe in, well someday they will have to answer to “the Creator” for their evil ways. They will pay sooner or later. Thank you for taking the time to respond and let’s spread the word about drugs and the people out there who are pulling our kids into that lifestyle. ❤

    • Sarah, my heart goes out to you! I have never felt such sadness or anger for a someone in my life. As a mom myself, I automatically put myself into your shoes and not a night has went by since Tanisha told me that you and Cassidy have not been on my mind. I cannot imagine your heartache and your grief. I know it is unbearable. My mom lost my brother to leukemia when he was 23 years old. On the day he passed, a huge part of her passed also. My mom nearly grieved herself to death. I ask of you, no matter how hard it is, please do not lock yourself away from the world. Find support groups, find new and old friends to talk to, and keep living for yourself, your husband, and your other child. I will tell you now, grief is something that you will never get rid of. You have something in your life now that you have to learn to live with. It’s like you have been shot and the bullet is lodged inside your heart and soul. The doctors can’t get it out and neither can anyone else. You will carry that reminder and that pain but learn to turn it into a positive. Cassidy’s death will NOT go in vain. Speak of her daily and use what happened to her as a preventative measure for other young girls. I promise you, you will keep her memory alive that way. It won’t be easy but honey, I see the strength that runs in the blood of your family! You ladies are made of steel! I have wanted to talk to you but did not want to intrude in such a terrible time in your life. Please know that I am just a click away. You know how to find me and if you ever need to vent, cry, yell, curse….I am your girl. Right now….close your eyes and let your mind take you back to the very first time you laid eyes on that sweet baby girl. Once you get that memory in your head let every single moment of that event run through your head like a movie reel. You will feel her right there on your chest…in your heart! My love, that is where she is and always will be. Whenever you get sad close those eyes, put your hand over your heart, and feel her!! I am sending you some super sized hugs across the miles and I am praying that you find some peace. Know that your sweet girl is wrapped up in some mighty powerful angel wings tonight! Soar high sweet Cassidy! ❤

    • I do not know you, nor did I ever know your daughter, but my own daughter graduated with Cassidy. I think of where both you and I were sitting on June 6th and of the great loss you have endured. I want you to know that I pulled my own daughter in, held her tight, and I wept for both you and your daughter. My heart is with you ❤

  4. I didn’t know this girl as a friend. I knew her as a fellow school mate. She was very beautiful and out going always looking forward and having a beautiful smile on her face. When I found out who it was I had almost cried. I know this means nothing cause I don’t know her and really didn’t. That was very beautiful and I have wanted to say something like this since I found out I just didn’t know how to approach it. I am very sorry for all of your lost as a mother, friend, family member what ever you may be and rest in paradise beautiful. You are very missed and have made an impact on everybody.

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